Eventually there is going to be a post on this blog about all of the things that are rendering me in need of "healing" at this point in my life, but every time I sit down to try and write it, I find that the words just don't come out right. I guess I'll take that as a sign that I'm not ready to talk about it.
Moving on, I decided I wanted to find a way to heal. Physically and emotionally. I thought a lot about "hobbies" and things I could take on but mostly felt that they would serve no greater purpose than a distraction. There are so many things I've said to myself that I want to do or become, but I always fall short of motivation or desire to fully commit/stay committed. I found there was really only one or two) that would allow me to heal.
They say if you write down your goals you are more likely to achieve them, so here I am, writing them down. Then they say that if you tell other people you will feel accountable on some level to the people that you've told. So here I am, telling you all. :)
So here goes: I want to be an excellent runner. (Two birds with one stone; be a runner and be healthy)
I saw a picture the other day of a pregnant woman (approx. 6 months) having just ran a 5k. I was absolutely ashamed on every level. There she was, growing a human being inside of her and she still had the motivation to get off her butt and run threepointsomething miles. And here I was, sitting on the couch, eating a dinner roll. I was embarrassed for myself. To give myself SOME credit, I did have a legitimate medical need to stay in bed and take it easy for a couple of days, but that doesn't excuse me from 23 years of laziness.
So here it is. My resolve. My determination to be better. To feel like I have accomplished something and to feel like I am a success.
At the age of 23 [and six days] I'm determined to become a runner.
At this point (having never ran farther than a mile in any day of my short life) I'm going to start with a 5k. There is the "couch to 5k" running program that makes it pretty easy for anyone (namely uber-beginners like myself) to train for a 5k. So, that's where I'm starting. Two or three nights a week.
Thanks for letting me rant, Stay tuned for updates! :)